i don't understand
i came prepared
for coldness
withdrawal
con-friends-only
i was prepared
for anything but what actually happened
i deliberately created space
because i didn't want to push
but you
reached for me
played with me
marked me up and called me pretty and kissed and touched and loved on me
and let me kiss and touch and love on you
and i cannot comprehend
how you are able to look me in the eye
and say "whenever"
how i went from you reaching out to me
to shut into a corner again
and i'm afraid to even ask
because i'm terrified
you will shut down again
close off
slam the door in my face
i trusted completely
and with your marks still on my body
you let me know
i'm so unimportant
that you're fine going months
with no contact.
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