11.1.17

Realism

The reality of this situation is:
 
   there is nowhere for any of this
    overflowing
       excessive
   emotion to go, and you
   are gonna rend your heart
    on the rocks of "What if."

  But goddammit, do those
   "what if"s feel good.

   Twining yourself into arms in thought,
    if not in reality,
    kneeling and breathing and thinking and

      what if
   that hand were on your neck
    that knife were at your throat
   that voice were whispering
         into your ear

  what if
     those arms were holding
     lips touching
        bodies twining
   what
    if

   you could kneel and know
     it was safe to give
   submit

 Just
   keep
    breathing.

Don't

Don't wish,
    don't think too far
  don't do it


 Do not open that door,
    the what ifs, beyond
  what you've already seen

Do not mistake this for anything
   but what it is -
    moments in time, nothing
  that can ever be.

  Don't wish