11.1.17

Realism


Realism

The reality of this situation is:
there is nowhere for any of this
overflowing
desire
messy
emotion to go, and you
are gonna rend your heart
on the rocks of "What if."

But goddammit, do those
"what if"s feel good.

Twining yourself into arms in thought,
if not reality,
kneeling and breathing and thinking and

what if
that hand were on your neck
in your hair
that knife were at your throat
that voice were whispering
into your ear

what if
those arms were holding
lips touching
bodies twining
what
if
That light he turns on you
all the dark spots lit by
seeing you this way,
What
If

you could kneel and know
it was safe to give yourself up
put yourself at his
mercy
hand over all this
bottled emotion,
submit

Just
keep
breathing.

Don't

Don't wish,
    don't think too far
  don't do it


 Do not open that door,
    the what ifs, beyond
  what you've already seen

Do not mistake this for anything
   but what it is -
    moments in time, nothing
  that can ever be.

  Don't wish