It's often on the worst days
the ones where something catches me
completely off-guard,
when my brain freezes
and then explodes in panic
that i see the clearest.
Those days,
the ones i start spiraling
out of the carefully
rebuilt
control
the ones you catch
when i reach out
the days that
i wind up
prostrate
with gratitude,
limp with happiness
feeling too needy for words,
but so much calmer
those are the days i see
i am not a burden
i am not too much,
that it's okay
for me to need support
and that you don't resent
my asking,
that there are people out there
who will meet my pleas
for reassurance
with care,
with "we're here"
with love.
The reminders that
i don't have to bury myself
in fear and doubt.
And that stays
on the days i want to hide,
reminding me
that the depression and anxiety
lie
that i'm a whole human being,
and i am allowed
to need you.
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